All You Can Eat

I reckon that song "Food, Glorious Food" was made for me. What is it with me and food. I just lurrvve to eat! I'm one of those people who never forgets, or is too busy to eat. What's up with that? And I've always been surrounded by people that are watching what they eat. I couldn't bear it. Now I'm one of those people.
I eat like a cow, continous grazing throughout the day. Breakfast - check. Elevenses (yes, it still exists for some people) - check, Lunch - check, Afternoon snack - check, check, check, Pre-dinner snack - check, check, check, Dinner-check, Post-dinner snack - check, Pre-bedtime - snack - check! That's a lot of food. I don't know quite why I feel the need to eat so much. But as long as I can remember, I've always loved my food. In fact, I guess you could say I have always been pretty gluttonous. See you gotta own this shit. One of my earliest childhood memories is of eating my mum's pork chops with butter beans, which at that time, I loved, as all good West Indian households did (you know you did). And me being The Gluttonous One, aged around 8 yrs I think, I used to like to eat the fat. Yes, the big fatty bit attached to the meat. The thought of it now absolutely disgusts me. One evening, I ate not only my pork rind, but my sister's, and my mum's I think. It was a fair few. Can I just digress and ask myself what mother in their right mind would allow their child to do that??? Anyways, Piggy Butterfly ate the pig rind, and then unsurprisingly felt a need to go lie down, where she promptly threw up all over the bed. I never ate the pig rind again.
Another memory - on being told by my GP that I was overweight, aged 15 weighing in at 'puppy-fat no longer an excuse' 11.5st. I decided to try a diet. My first one ever. It was the Cambridge Diet. Not as clever as it sounds. This was a diet which replaced meals with the vilest tasting powdered drink known to womankind. I started the diet one morning, and then went to hang out with my so-called best friend Shazby at her house with my sister. Shazby cooked dinner for my sister, herself and her sister. I don't remember what it is was, all I know it that I started crying because I couldn't have it because I was on the stupid Cambridge Diet! Needless to say I was no longer on it by the time I left Sharon's house.
What I've realised about myself, is that I am a person of excess. Excessive spending, on everything, excessive partying, excessive drinking, and eating. I'm just excessive. Food becomes a part of that. I want to experience life in every way I can, travel, new experiences. I'm one of those people that will die broke, because I live to travel, buy clothes, and go places. Food is an experience for me, it's like, I have to be stimulated by it all the time. If its not stimulating me, I'd rather not eat it. I always think, oh I'll just have this today, it won't make much difference, what's an ice-cream gonna do, or this bar of chocolate. Fuck it, I've had a crap day, I need something nice to eat. I'm fucking Bridget Jones, sad and lonely with no man, and no prospect of one for some time. It's the weekend, let's get some munchies. Now I know I'm not alone in this type of thinking, lots of people think like this, and stock up their fridges with junk. But I guess they're not that bothered about wearing this season's drainpipe jeans (I swear I am gonna work that look if it kills me!).
The food thing is something that's not going to happen overnight. Each and every day I try to address it. So far, some days are good, some days not so good. I don't binge, but it's the drip-drip effect of, a bar of chocolate, an ice-cream, then maybe a packet of crisps. Why can't I understand that this is the reason my thighs are so big? That if I eat the ice-cream every day, it's gonna take longer for the thighs to go down? That if I keep drinking lots the tummy will keep flopping over the jeans? That if I keep eating demi-baguettes for lunch, that the hips ain't gonna fit in the miniskirts or the drainpipe jeans....I think I understand now.