I Don't Need A Man

Girl’s Aloud sit down. You’re not, and never were ready.

The top shotta girl-group out there are The Pussycat Dolls. Although I’d be hard-pressed to name any of them apart from the one like Nicole who is showing up Puffy in his new video. Have you seen that video? Puffy also needs to sit down. Where is he going with that off-key dancing in his too-tight suit? It looks like he’s taking the piss out of himself, or he’s ‘lean’ (drunk/high), or he really just can’t dance. I think it is that he really can’t dance. But that girl Nicole his hot, hot, hot. As Tony Matterhorn sings: “Gooders fe dem, gyal yuh ah gooders fe dem.” I don’t know how long they take on her hair and make-up, but she is definitely going in with tings.

I for one could not name one other girl in that group, and would not recognise any of them if they passed me in the street. They must screw that Nicole gets all the attention. Every time they go to do some publicity I bet the others have to constantly tell people who they are.

Athough in general I disapprove of the trend for stripper dancing that dominates the female arena of pop music, I can’t help but love these girls.

Their song, ‘Don’t Ya Wish Your Girlfriend’ was like Marmite, you either loved it or hated it. And I loved it. I found myself pumping my glutes extra hard in the gym every time that tune came on my iPod in an attempt to look as hot as one of them. They is some fit athletic looking beeyatches. Unfortunately I’m not quite there yet.

As a a self-proclaimed ‘womanist (like a feminist but black), I should hate them, but when I see their videos, I marvel at how tight their routines are, the intricate choreography in the high heels, their movement flows like water, and visually they look stunning, even though they’re not all stunners. There’s so many of them, but no one’s off-beat. Not even the white girls. ‘llow me, you know white girls have only been dancing good for about five years or so, before that, as my Lil’ Bruv would say, they were ‘waste’ ( I’m guessing it’s short for a waste of time).

I’m trying to think why I’m not offended by them. But I think it’s because as mainstream journalists like to say, for women they represent the ‘zeigeist’. Just like Destiny’s Child broke through to the mainstream with ‘Independent Women’, at a time when women were earning decent money, and realised they didn’t have to take up with any old man just to say they had one, the Pussycat Dolls have vocalised with ‘Don’t Ya’ the reality many women are dealing with, having to bat away attached men.

In ‘Don’t Ya’ they acknowledge their sexual power and taunt the man with their lyrics: “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was raw like me, don’t you wish she was a freak like me” with a knowingness that further intrigues the man but does not invite him in. There’s no soppy unrequited love shit, it’s more of an acknowledgement of their own feminine power and prowess. And they recognise that they’re more powerful for not acquiesing while the man is in a relationship. As Nicole sings “If it ain’t love, it ain’t enough to leave a happy home.”

‘Don’t Ya’ vocalises the dilemma many single women are facing in these times of ‘slim pickings’. And I think that’s why I wasn’t immediately turned off by this single girl anthem. Because when ‘taken’ men are running you down, that’s what you should sing to them, “Don’t ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me” and tell them to keep it moving.

Their latest single ‘I Don’t Need A Man” is the perfect song for the noughties woman. Again, they’re talking to the underdogs, single women. Both white and black women are facing the ‘Bridget Jones’ syndrome. But instead of bleating about it, like many of us do, they’ve made an upbeat club anthem for women to sing along to say fuck that, “I don’t need a man to make me feel good. I don’t need a ring to make me feel complete”. And it’s true. Women should be able to feel good about living without a man. We don’t ‘need’ one, but yes, we would like one. We need to stop despairing about being single, and women that are in relationships need to stop acting smug and like they’re all that because they have a man. Because you know if their relationship mash-up, they would mash-up too.

Any man I’ve ever been with, I know I can live without them. That’s life. Breaking up hurts, but after getting over the split ten years ago with my daughter’s father, I know that I could never hurt more than that again. Because that was a family breaking up.

Some women out there would literally die if they were single, they just would not be able to cope. The Pussycat Dolls remind me of why I am glad that I am not one of them. As Suzy Wong says, “Don’t worship man”. It’s all about self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself, you can enjoy life until your Shaka Zulu comes.

That’s why I love the Pussycat Dolls, because they’re not whinging on about not having a man. They’re celebrating. And that’s what I’ll do, until my man comes. Celebrate life to rass, it’s too damn short , so enjoy the time that you’re single, and don’t think that your shit can make patties just because you have a man.

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