You're Too Hostile!

I’ve not worked in a morgue before. But I reckon it might be something like the evening shift at the Big Time Newspaper. Somehow I got conned into working 3-12am for a whole month. A month where I see my child for 30 minutes in the morning if I can get up after going to bed at 3am, and then on weekends, squeezed in between spending some time with adults that doesn’t involve working like Kizzy for Missy ‘lisbet.

They pay for my midnight taxi ride home (you know they’re always shocked to see my black face walking up out of there), and I’m usually having a natter with the driver. Imagine my surprise as I’m talking about raving, and how some women compete with each other so ferociously for the few men in the dance that they end up fighting. Not me fools.

The cabbie said to me in an emphatic tone: ” The problem is, is that the black men are all going for the white girls.” Tell me something I don’t know. “Because black women are too agressive and demanding.”

Note to cab driver: Just in case you hadn’t noticed I am one of those aggressive and demanding black woman. I said, in an incredulous voice: “How do you know?” And of course, black men have been blabbing this to him. And oh yeah, the whole fucking world. Which is why a white cab driver from Canning Town can come and tell me this like it’s gospel, because of course the man/men that told him have been with every single type of black woman there is to go out with. Or maybe just one or two.

He said this like it was no big ting and of course didn’t stop to think that this might in anyway hurt my feelings. Which it did.

He continued: “They know what they want when they go out, they want to meet a woman and get their way with them that night, and they know they can’t do that with black women, cos they’ don’t put up with any shit from anyone.” Ok, feeling less hurt now, because he’s basically saying black women have respect for themselves and white women are ‘slack’. ‘Nil point’ for white women from their white bredren.

But I said: “Come on now, that’s not strictly true...black women put up with plenty of shit from men too...” sorry my white sisters but you gonna have to defend yourselves on the ‘slack’ claim...I can’t speak for a white woman “but if you’re saying that brothers think we’re too demanding because we would like more than a pint of Snakebite before dropping our Love Kylie knickers, then I would have to agree. I am demanding. And I don’t raasclaat apologize to no bombaclaat banachecka (old time sleng that means someone who checks white woman/man).”

Ok, I didn’t cuss the bad words dem, but I wanted to. What has it come to, when a white man can come and tell me something like that, like ah nuh nuttin’. Like it don’t hurt me when I hear that shit coming from a brother’s mouth, let alone coming from a white man. When a cabbie is telling you that, that shit is common knowledge. Cabbies are the salt of the fucking earth, the man in the street, the fucking common people. Who live like common people do. Why is it the fault of the black woman if the black man is with a white woman?

When I went out with a white man, I never said: “Oh black men are wotless, all they wanna do is breed you and then left your ass, don’t gi you no money, but then keep coming back to wuk you when they feel like.” And yes I am deliberately stereotyping. No, I just happened to meet someone, he was white, and surprising to me I liked him. (Even though on a scale of 1-10, 1 being busted, and 10 being hot to death, he was a 2). Who says I’m superficial.

However, I’ll admit we’re both at fault here, black women have been cussing black men, and black men cussing black women. But, black women are not turning away from brothers in droves despite some of their shortcomings. But to be honest, I doubt many of them would miss us.

All these black men that say: “White women are easier to get on with, they’re easy going.” You stay dere, white women ain’t no pushover. Remember they are descendants of that bitch that threw herself under a horse to get the vote for women in this country. Don’t underestimate them, they are some tough flat ass bitches. When they’re ready to stop taking your shit and acting like it tastes better than the ackee and saltfish she forces herself to eat at your beloved Mum’s house, she will take your ass to the cleaners and leave you in just the namebrand clothes you’re profiling in. Have you forgotten what happened to Frank Bruno?

As far as I’m concerned some black women have got more reason to desert brothers. Well, the one’s that are left holding the baby/ies have. No money ah month time, no visits from Dad, no involvement in their kids lives. Just walk away and don’t look back. Go somewhere else, drop some more sperm, and repeat the wotless babyfather cycle. But does this turn black women off black men? Noooo. Those same women would prefer to be with a black man, despite what has happened previously, in fact, they would not consider anything else. Usually it just turns them off the wotless ones.

Those big mout’ jackasses who go around saying this foolishness, getting sex easy from some white women, and dissing us sisters, truly, I am not interested in them. Goodbye and good luck, because you are right. I am demanding. I demand that you have a fucking brain, that you look for more from me than what’s between my legs (I mean that’s cool and all but I only fuck for love as Suzy Wong says), that you treat me as an equal and not a subordinate, that every sentence does not end with ‘blud’ or ‘nahwhatImean’, that your favourite restaurant is not KFC, that you don’t go to Ayia fucking Napa every year for your holidays, that you do not have five children by the age of 25 by three different babymothers, and that when you buy a diamond its for the ring finger on my left hand and not to put in your raatid teet’!

Further I would like all black men who exclusively lust after white women to say after me: “I *nigga/footballer* prefer white women because I have accepted the dominant ideology and believe that white women are the ultimate prize in life, and I will never truly believe that I have made it in life until I have a white/asian/latina/japanese/brazilian/chinese (ah fuck it, any bitch with naturally straight hair that isn’t sewn in and can wash n go) woman hanging off my arm. “

Never gonna happen is it.