So Have A Nice Day

I am so busy at the moment finishing off job applications, following up contacts, ignoring Clarke while on half-term holiday and preparing for a trip to France on Friday that I have no time to dress myself properly, it's just fling on the nearest outfit and pray to God I see no one I know while out. Of course I always do see someone I know.

I bumped into 'cute man with dreads' who is also coming on the trip to France. With teenage daughter. Not that I'm interested but I'm getting that 'not married but attached' vibe from him. Not to worry, I was wearing huge Mekon head cycle helmet, and my baggiest jeans which make my bottom look ten miles wide. There is no danger of him giving me a second look. Maybe I can wow him with the 'damn she scrubs up well' look on Friday. Like I said, not that I'm interested.

Clarke is also coming on this ski/snowboarding trip to the French Alps which means mummy cannot act like a ho while she is in the vicinity. HA! Chance would be a fine thing. This will be the first trip I've ever been on which will be completely 'dry'. No alcohol can pass my lips as I'm going as a volunteer with a youth group, along with 40 teenagers. Happy days.

Since I have stopped smoking and as a result drink less, I've noticed how much I talk. My gums will run a mile a minute if I don't check myself. It's like some sort of nervous tic. Why has no one alerted me to this fact? I thought y'all we're my friends? It's only after I've been running my gums for five minutes straight that I realise, um, maybe I coulda taken a breath and not revealed the knickers I'm wearing today are to' up, or some other such nonsense.

My wardrobe seems to have shrunk drastically. That's the ebay effect as I've sold loads of my stuff, but haven't really replaced it. I have actually lost the will to shop at the moment. I guess it will return when my pay packet does. On Sunday I dragged myself up West to return a dress I'd bought while under the influence of hormones. Beautiful red and black strapless, tulip skirt floral number. The style was so lovely, but so wrong for someone who has enough booty for two people. It was the monthly hormone overload that made me do it. They're also responsible for making me buy a dress twice. I returned a lovely teal blue military style dress to TopShop on Sunday that had been hanging in the wardrobe for a couple of weeks. By today I was frantically calling my nearest ToSho to see if they had the dress in stock.

Of course the lazy-ass sales assistant said they didn't, but my refined 'fashion sense' told me she was talking out of her frying pan ass. I spoke to the lovely Esther who knew what I was talking about and she held the dress for me. Clueless sales assistant then served me with way too much attitude. She was American too, and I'm afraid I just expect better from the country that coined the phrase 'Have a nice day'. Maybe she was expecting a tip. She was getting feisty because I handled her on the phone. She couldn't be bothered to look for the dress and said 'I should come down and have a look'. "That's why I'm talking to you" idiot so I don't have to! "I-M B-U-S-Y!". Lucky for that bitch I was not in a fighting or complaining mood (rare I know) I just ignored her slightly above minimum wage ass, and thanked the lovely British Esther for her excellent customer service. And fuck-a have a nice day.