It's cold. So cold. I just want to curl up in my bed, and forget the gym. Clarke asks if she can borrow my lovely fleecy Burton hoody. Hell no! That hoody is my protection from the howling wind while on my bike. It doesn't help that my gym is a 10 minute cycle down the road. I got a cheap deal to LA Fitness by collecting tokens from The Daily Star. Can you imagine. The most trashy paper in Britain. But the celeb news is quite good!
It's a really nice gym in Victoria, definitely nothing like that 'orrible Fitness First I used to go to in Brixton, full of neanderthals dropping weights very loudly. And they were just the people that worked there. It even has a swimming pool. However, I keep forgetting to ask Clarkie where my goggles are. If I swim without them I end up looking like I've been smoking a bong as my eyes go blazing red.
When I get there around 8.30am, the changing room is busy with all these women who've already finished their workouts. These skinny bitches have been up since God knows what time, and while I've been debating with myself whether to go or not, they're already sweating off the half a pound they have to lose, and getting ready to go to work. Different. I mean, I'd read about people like that, but I'd never actually seen any.
Another unnerving thing about my gym, is that there are very few fat people. Why you looking at me? I'm not fat, I'm curvy. Believe me, everyone looks like they just stepped out of a fitness magazine. They all wear the latest hi-tech workout gear, and look pretty slim. It's like the gym for Stepford women. No one speaks to one another, or barely makes eye contact. This is so unlike when I used to go to Brixton Rec. The ghetto gym.
Each aerobic class was like an American style workout, and we would start whooping and hollering to the garage music, singing and shouting, encouraged by the teachers. It was like you would see in American films, everyone going for the burn. People used to come and watch the classes just to see what the fuss was about. You know how we do black people, we loud. Well everyone was loud in the Rec, black, white and asian. Some women used to come to classes in full make-up. I'm talking red lipstick on some fat-ass lips. I used to wear mascara and lipgloss. It was just that kind of place. Everyone knew each other, we'd do two classes back to back, and then go shower, chat, laugh, run joke, or go in the sauna for some man-bashing, I mean girl-talk. We did a class every day, so got to know each other pretty well. It was all really friendly and there were even a few men that came too.
On Sundays, we had a two-hour step class, which was full of the fittest girls in south London. Bodies like WOAH! It was advanced step aerobics, but you would always get a beginner sneaking into the class. Everyone would just look at them thinking you should really leave now while you can. The teacher would ask, are there any beginners, or anyone who hasn't attended this class before. They would stay silent, even though no one had seen them before. After the warm-up, the class would speed up and about ten minutes later you would hear this BU-DOOF as the beginner fell off the step onto the floor. Shame guy. Many a regular ended up in a heap when the class picked up pace, so beginners had no chance. It was some ghetto workout at your own risk shit. I had to stop when my knees started complaining, but boy I miss those classes. I like to have a laugh when I'm working out and at the moment my LA Fitness women are dry like crackers in comparison, but hey, I'm gonna try and take the Brixton Rec ghetto workout vibes in there. I can always start some whooping and hollering on my own.
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6 comments:
Do it babe, it'll be infectious!
wow. my gym is just the student agym at the uni, and we get a fair mix of the gym bunnies in the lycra and the comfies (me) who just throw on their paint the house sweats and head off to the gym.
there are a lot of fat ppl and a lot fo skinny ones. but it's always empty in the morning. students can't get out of bed for nobody.
I hear that La Vie. I would love a PT. I did a run yesterday afternoon, outside in the streets that wiped me out for the whole day!
Hahahahah! Butterfly, mehn i stopped going to the gym, cause my gym is like yours now, no space to work out on and there are 11 year old boys running on the treadmill for like 1hour, while you are waiting for them, come one 11.
Hmm all skinny girls, and beefed up mehn and they all look at me with pity in thier eyes anytime i come round, going let me see how she is going to shift all that bum.
Oh well i got fed up with waiting and switched to yoga and girl am i limber. Also throw in a run once a week at the park, i felt so ashamed my first time, cause there were 50-60year old couples jogging and i just jogged for 3mins and almost collapsed!
Yoga very very good
LOL! Same here Nneka, but what they don't realise is that I don't want to lose all the bum. Far from it! I'm doing Yoga too but yesterday my run killed me so much I couldn't make it to the yoga class!
I used to go to your gym. I switched to Curves, an all female circuit gym. Like it much better because there's no men there trying to tell you what you're doing wrong just so they can watch your boobs bounce on the stepper...
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