I am Effie White...

It's been an arduous couple of weeks. I fell ill when I didn't want to. There are points in your life when you think, I wouldn't mind a couple of days off, but this wasn't one of them. I had a welcoming drinks at the pub with my new team to welcome me at Showbiz Journalist at The Big Time Newspaper, yes I have a contract now, which means less Kunte Kinte hours, and less money. Oh well. I really didn't feel like going, which should have been a clue that I wasn't feeling well. Me, turn down a free drink?!? (you done know I wasn't paying to welcome myself), but anyway, after a 9-hour shift I dragged myself along, managed to keep consumption down to three 'small' glasses of wine, and escaped early.

The next day I couldn't move.

I spent the whole weekend on the sofa, because you know when you're sick, you have to be visibly sick. No one ever wants to spend the whole day in bed. You need to move to the sofa, and let everybody (well just Clarke) see how crap you feel.

I spoke to Suzy Wong - she was so worried about me, she came over, and did my food shopping so my 'pickney' (child) could have something to eat. That's what you call friend. So I spent the weekend watching my pirate copy of Dreamgirls (don't hate I went to the cinema first) and feeling immensely sorry for myself, as only I can. And loving it. I really just ended up enjoying the whole oh woe is me of it all. I stayed in my pyjamas, got in emergency supplies of M&Ms and Haagen Daz Cookies and Cream ice-cream and kept rewinding Jennifer Hudson singing "And I am teeellling you...I'm not going...". Dope.

I dunno if she deserved the Oscar because I didn't see many of the other contenders, but she sure tore that song the hell up. Beyonce - sit down. You know she felt GUTTED that she didn't get an Oscar, or even a nomination. When you're one of life's winners, its only natural. And if you're one of life's losers, well that's a feeling you're used to so no biggy. But as Usher sang Beyonce had to 'let it burn', cos I know that shit was hurting like a mofo. Oh well, at least she has the multimillionaire 'CEO of Hip-Hop' Jay Z to console her. "So Beyonce, what first attracted you to the multimillionaire rapper Jay Z?"

Anyways, by Monday I was feeling a-ok after a weekend of wallowing in the depths of self-pity and cold and flu viruses. Well, if I don't work I don't eat, and momma's got to get paid! Back to work it is.