Grudge Dread

Some people say I like to hold a grudge. And you know what, I'ma have to agree with them. In the last week, I've seen two women that I used to go secondary school with. One of whom I had a fight with, and another who was a sheep and sided with the girls in my year who ganged up on me and my best friend. I saw one in the street, and I know she saw me. I had to laugh because she looked busted. Ok, not everyone goes out dressed to the nines, but you know somedays you ain't looking hot and you pray that you don't see peeps you know? That's how she looked. Meanwhile I was rocking my casual 'indie' look, reefer style navy wool jacket, striped pink and black Fred Perry scarf, and jeans, on my racer, looking lo-key f-ly. Got you bitch.

To this day, trust me, I would NEVER, speak to any of them bitches. The other, I saw at another friend's christening party recently. Ditto that. Me just look pon her. Why? Because these girls were part of a gang of girls at our school who bullied me and my best friend.

Bear in mind, all the drama happened about 20 years ago. But when I was hanging with my best friend and baby Mimi today, both of us all grown up and shit, we both realised that even now, we never talk to any of these people if we see them. The people that bullied us, the one's that egged them on, or the ones that just stayed silent in the background while we were being physically or verbally abused on a daily basis for a whole year of school.

Now, you may all know by now, that I'm no pushover. But we were up against practically a whole year of 15 year olds, some 14 year olds and they older sisters who jumped in now and then too. The whole thing was sparked by a feisty comment, surprisingly not made by me. But by my best friend. She said to the main bully while we were doing a trampolining lesson: "Move, 'Bully' you stink." It was typical of the throwaway disses we bandied around at that time. Like saying 'shut up you tramp'. Except this girl took offence, probably because she really did stink.

A whole crew of them followed us to my house, to beat up my friend. Now my best friend was the most bookish person you could meet. She'd only ever had little foolish fights with me, not full on ones with the school bully. I told that girl: "If you want to fight, let's go to your house and do it, cos we ain't fighting outside mine." There was a whole massive of them, the dummies looked at each other, and then said how I shouldn't be sticking up for her because she was African?!? (err she's Nigerian). The 'stink' girl wasn't even Caribbean, she was fucking African too, but was Ja-fakin' it. No. Meaning. Dem gyal was eediot, you think that was gonna make me abandon my friend?

Admittedly, when I first met my best friend, she had a threaded African hairstyle, so I used to call her Spiderwoman. She spoke RP English, unlike me, and knew the answers to all the questions. So I didn't like her. But not because she was African, but because she was smarter than me. But by the second year of school, I bagged a desk next to her, and we became friends. If you've ever read the book The Friends by Rosa Guy, that is me, and my best friend's story in print. Fictionalised of course. She was the good girl, and I was the rebel. Teachers used to warn her about being friends with me. I was a 'distraction', and she should 'choose her friends carefully'. But she never listened to them.

Our friendship was too strong for any such nonsense to come between us. I fought them bitches toe-to-toe, for her and for me, so allow me my little digs at them. They tried and failed to come between something that they knew they could never have. True friendship. I didn't need people like that in my life then, so why would I need to speak to them now? If that's holding a grudge, guilty as charged motherfuckers.

As I sat with my best friend today, after changing my goddaughter's pooey nappy, chewing the fat, and watching the last episode of a cheesy show we're both addicted to (Our New Life in Everwood - 1st series on ITV) I thanked God we came through those tough times together, and that 25 years since we first met, just like old times, as my girl CC, I mean Jill Scott sang (on Beautifully Human), 'I'm Still Here'.